Relax. Slow down. You’ve got this.
Really… slow down. Take some time.
Read this note slowly.
Don’t think about anything besides this note.
Do something else… but focus on that.
Do you ever feel like you are doing an impression of yourself? You don’t know who you are, but you are in such a hurry that you can’t stop to find out. So you just run from task to task, and you spend each task thinking about the next task. You do everything out of obligation, and you just think that the cure is to do MORE!
The opposite is true.
The cure is to do less. The cure is to give yourself the time to care about each thing you do.
When you eat, think about eating.
When you dream, dream without anybody else’s thoughts.
When you love, love without regard for what you desire to gain.
Because we are all a small part of true beauty… and we all have a tendency to get in the way.
I know a girl that STOPS me in my tracks.
Sometimes when everyone around you thinks you are awesome and tells you that you are awesome and high fives you for being awesome, it is hard to realize that you aren’t being awesome anymore. You aren’t being original. You aren’t developing. You are just filling a role that a few people have carved for you because playing this role feels safe, and you are afraid of being seen for who you really are. Why do that when you have a shtick that works so well? In my case, funny.
Suddenly, you realize that you’ve been trying to be funny for months! Trying to make the people around you laugh. Trying to prove that you are the funniest guy on the planet! For a while you get funnier, but soon the laughs die down; the mystery ends; you begin to alienate people; you fall off your game… and you are sitting there, desperately thinking “Hey- I thought I was funny!”
You wonder why nothing is working… you decide that you need to be bigger, crazier, awesomer! You start getting out of control! And, out of nowhere, you see the girl that STOPS you in your tracks. And you realize:
You are funny. Why are you trying? You are. Your job is to let it be. The purpose of life is to be yourself… and that isn’t a struggle. It is the most natural thing in the world. You are funny… but you are more than just funny. Stop. Slow down. Appreciate your world. Stare at a leaf. Clean your room. Drop your desires. You are funny. Stop. Just stop. Sit. Stop. Listen. Be still. You’ll find yourself staring at a leaf as the world flows back into your empty mind. The amazing world. The same world that was a struggle yesterday… today one of its leaves can fill you with awe.
And you realize that it isn’t about being AWESOME… it is about being filled with AWE. Not about doing more, but about doing less with greater love.
This is how I felt on Monday morning.
The past two days have been some of the best of my life. (They’ve also been awesome. Too awesome for facebook. I can’t tell the details. I did something LEGENDARY. Found 5 dollars. Am moving into an AWESOME house. Flew back to LA. Connected with people at work. AND SLEPT SOUNDLY)
I never want to recreate them. Better things are coming. Stop. Focus on now. Focus on this. There is a right, wrong, and awesome response to everything. Focus. Love it. Love where you are. Love what you are doing. Get there mentally, and the awesome response may not seem the easiest, but it will feel the easiest.
Life is awesome.
To my parents, Jo, Ja, M, R, S:
Thanks for lovingly stopping me when I am not being real. Thanks for helping me put on the brakes.
NOTE: Four years later- I do not recall what the “legendary” thing I did was. It could be one of many things that would be a source of pain, not confidence, if I had to draw strength from it today… and the girl that “stops me in my tracks” is a memory. Love only last a short time between people, but God loves forever. And when I say God, I’m talking about the man in the sky from The Bible.